如何把学术论文写清楚

先写主语＋动词：

谁或什么做了什么。然后是限制、方法或例外。

行动在动词里：

不要写 “the implementation of X resulted in Y”，而要写 “X did Y”。

先熟后新：

旧信息在句首。发现、数字或主张在句末。

首次使用时给出术语：

全称（ABBR），随后用 ABBR。你随即定义的第一个关键术语用斜体（APA §6.22）。

删，不要装饰：

删除 “the fact that”、“it should be noted that” 和 “it is interesting that”（UNC Sciences）。留下剩下的分句。

Check for continuity in words, concepts, and thematic development across the paper. Explain relationships between ideas clearly. Present ideas in a logical order. Use clear transitions to smoothly connect sentences, paragraphs, and ideas.

Choose words and phrases carefully and deliberately. Eliminate wordiness, redundancy, evasiveness, circumlocution, overuse of the passive voice, and clumsy prose.

Do not use jargon, contractions, or colloquialisms.

Avoid overusing both short, simple sentences and long, involved sentences; instead, use varied sentence lengths.

Avoid both single-sentence paragraphs and paragraphs longer than one double-spaced page.

Use clear and precise language. Use a professional tone and professional language.

Do not use jargon, contractions, colloquialisms, or creative literary devices.

Check for anthropomorphistic language (i.e., attributing human actions to inanimate objects or nonhuman animals).

Make logical comparisons using clear word choice and sentence structure.

We argue here that complexity of thought need not lead to impenetrability of expression.

The fundamental purpose of scientific discourse is not the mere presentation of information and thought, but rather its actual communication.

It does not matter how pleased an author might be to have converted all the right data into sentences and paragraphs; it matters only whether a large majority of the reading audience accurately perceives what the author had in mind.

But the most important goal of academic writing is not to sound smart—it is to communicate an argument or information clearly and convincingly.

Using simple words does not indicate simple thoughts.

In an academic argument paper, what makes the thesis and argument sophisticated are the connections presented in simple, clear language.

First, remember that your goal in academic writing is not to sound intelligent, but to get your intelligent point across.

When given a choice between a familiar and a technical or obscure term, the more familiar term is preferable if it doesn’t reduce precision.

精确：

population density is positively correlated with disease transmission rate

不够精确：

population density is positively related to disease transmission rate

误用词：

Cree Indians were a monotonous culture until French and British settlers arrived.

改写：

Cree Indians were a homogenous culture.

多余含义：

I sprayed the ants in their private places.

改写：

I sprayed the ants in their hiding places.

行话：

The dialectical interface between neo-Platonists and anti-disestablishment Catholics offers an algorithm for deontological thought.

改写：

The dialogue between neo-Platonists and certain Catholic thinkers is a model for deontological thought.

带倾向：

Society teaches young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change society.

点名：

Contemporary American popular media, like magazines and movies, teach young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change the images and role models girls are offered.

套话：

France bit off more than it could chew in Vietnam, and America’s intervention was too little, too late.

改写：

As the French faltered in Vietnam, even American intervention could not save the collapsing regime.

限定语堆叠：

Most people usually think that many puppies are generally pretty cute.

改写：

Most people think that puppies are cute.

冗余成对：

Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes and dreams when she saved the whole entire planet.

改写：

Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes when she saved the planet.

回避：

或许有可能表明，这些变量之间也许会存在某种关系。

适度谨慎：

数据表明这些变量之间存在关系。

Readers expect a grammatical subject to be followed immediately by the verb.

Anything of length that intervenes between subject and verb is read as an interruption, and therefore as something of lesser importance.

Make subjects short and concrete, ideally naming the character that performs the action expressed by the verb that follows.

Avoid interrupting the subject and verb with more than a word or two.

Put key actions in verbs, not in nouns.

Put information familiar to readers at the beginning of a sentence, new information at the end.

Avoid long introductory phrases: get to a short, familiar subject quickly.

已发表原文：

The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

若 207-nt 定义重要时的试改：

The smallest of the URF's is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene; it has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

若该定义只是旁注时的试改：

The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L) has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.

他们敲定的段落（开头）：

The smallest of the URF's, URFA6L, has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene; but the functional significance of other URF's has been more elusive.

复杂：

The osmoregulatory organ, which is located at the base of the third dorsal spine on the outer margin of the terminal papillae and functions by expelling excess sodium ions, activates only under hypertonic conditions.

更清楚：

Located on the outer margin of the terminal papillae at the base of the third dorsal spine, the osmoregulatory organ expels excess sodium ions under hypertonic conditions.

...to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at relatively high pressures and interelectrode gaps that approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the determination of the processes that set the criterion for breakdown in the above-mentioned gases and mixtures in uniform and non-uniform fields of engineering significance.

冗长：

The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island was the inability of Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring expenses at the hands of the headhunters on the other side of the island.

改写：

Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because he couldn’t find adequate resources without angering the headhunters.

不清楚：

Having finished with studying, the pizza was quickly eaten.

清楚：

Having finished with studying, the students quickly ate the pizza.

“Bees disperse pollen” and “Pollen is dispersed by bees” are two different but equally respectable sentences about the same facts. The first tells us something about bees; the second tells us something about pollen.

A sentence is too long when it has more viable candidates for stress positions than there are stress positions available.

Follow a grammatical subject as soon as possible with its verb.

Place in the stress position the “new information” you want the reader to emphasize.

Place the person or thing whose “story” a sentence is telling at the beginning of the sentence, in the topic position.

Place appropriate “old information” (material already stated in the discourse) in the topic position for linkage backward and contextualization forward.

Articulate the action of every clause or sentence in its verb.

In general, provide context for your reader before asking that reader to consider anything new.

In general, try to ensure that the relative emphases of the substance coincide with the relative expectations for emphasis raised by the structure.

名词过重：

The discovery of the aliens was made by the government.

动词在前：

The government discovered the aliens.

空开场：

There is a need for further study of aliens.

改写：

We need to study aliens further.

弱动词：

The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem.

更强的动词：

The aliens improve our ecosystem.

Use abbreviations sparingly and usually when they are familiar to readers, save considerable space, and appear at least three times in the paper.

Define abbreviations, including abbreviations for group authors, on first use.

Use italics for the first use of key terms or phrases accompanied by a definition.

Keep technical terms to the places where they are needed. Define abbreviations at first use and use them sparingly.

Write clear and direct sentences. Using the active voice (‘we performed the experiment...’) typically helps readers better understand concepts and results described in a paper.

State the main finding clearly. A reader should be able to understand what you found and why it matters from the title and abstract.

Ask a colleague outside your immediate field to read the title and abstract.

定性：

development rate was fastest in the higher temperature treatment

定量：

development rate in the 30°C temperature treatment was ten percent faster than development rate in the 20°C temperature treatment

比喻：

experimental subjects were assaulted with a wall of sound

写明：

experimental subjects were presented with 20 second pulses of conspecific mating calls

不完整：

处理组被试得分更高。

完整：

处理组被试的得分高于对照组被试。

研究当行动者：

该研究收集了 40 次访谈，并得出等待时间可预测爽约的结论。

研究者当行动者：

我们收集了 40 次访谈。等待时间预测了爽约。

Use first person pronouns to describe your work and your personal reactions (e.g., “I examined,” “I agreed with”), including your work with coauthors (e.g., “We conducted”).

Ensure items in lists are parallel.

不平行：

该研究考察了学生动机、他们的学业表现如何，以及他们的满意度。

平行：

该研究考察了学生动机、学业表现和满意度。

不清楚的 he / him：

My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though he didn’t like him very much.

点名：

My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though Jake doesn’t like Trey very much.

第 1 稿（含糊）：

There are many important river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn.

第 2 稿（去向更清楚）：

The contrasting river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn suggest a return to nature.

第 3 稿（主张里有关键词）：

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

A “reverse” outline is one you make after you have written a draft.

The reverse outline will help you evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of both your organization and your argument.

• 主语与动词相隔不超过一两个词
• 行动是动词，不是以 -tion 结尾的名词
• 熟悉信息在句首；新主张在句末
• 句子讲一个故事（主题位置），并强调一个新点
• 每个缩写与关键词都在首次使用时定义
• 只要精度还在，就用熟悉词替换讲究词
• 比较点出两侧；数量替换 “various” 与 “higher”
• 研究与理论不去收集、下结论或相信
• 列表平行；每个 they / this / it 只指向一个名词
• 没有一段是一句话；也没有一段长过一页双倍行距
• 朗读时草稿仍然说得通