学術論文を推敲する方法

第1回 — 課題と論証:

この草稿は、課題が求めた思考（分析する、論じる、比較する）をしているか。本文が実際に裏付けた主張のまま、論題（テーゼ）は残っているか。序論で約束したのに、本文が果たしていないことは何か。

第2回 — 逆アウトライン:

各段落に番号を振る。実際にしていることを一行で書く。それから問う。欠けているものは何か、繰り返されているものは何か、動かすべきものは何か。

第3回 — 流れなければ再構成する:

UNCのReorganizing Draftsハンドアウトは、公式の方法を五つ示します。逆アウトライン、口頭で説明する、テーゼの見出しの下に区分けする、列挙して絞る、草稿を図にする。校正の前に、それらの移動を終えてください。

第4回 — 段落、それから文:

一段落に中心となる考えは一つ。トピック文がその考えを名指しする。証拠、それからその証拠がなぜ重要かを述べる文。そのあとで初めて、定型句を削り、音読する。

時間が短いとき:

まずテーゼと構成。次に、読者がつまずく不明瞭な段落を二つまたは三つ。表面の誤りは最後。

Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where the game is won or lost.

Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper: reconsidering your arguments, reviewing your evidence, refining your purpose, reorganizing your presentation, reviving stale prose.

if it’s really worth saying,

if it says what you wanted to say, and

if a reader will understand what you’re saying.

But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling

Nope. That’s called proofreading. It’s an important step before turning your paper in, but if your ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound.

Well, that’s a part of revision called editing. It’s another important final step in polishing your work. But if you haven’t thought through your ideas, then rephrasing them won’t make any difference.

THINK BIG, don’t tinker

Don’t proofread as you go. You may waste time correcting the commas in a sentence that may end up being cut anyway.

Revision doesn’t necessarily mean rewriting the whole paper. Sometimes it means revising the thesis to match what you’ve discovered while writing.

Revising gives you the chance to preview your work on behalf of the eventual reader. Revision is much more than proofreading, though in the final editing stage it involves some checking of details.

Good revision and editing can transform a mediocre first draft into an excellent final paper.

Revision may mean changing the shape and reasoning in your paper. It often means adding or deleting sentences and paragraphs, shifting them around, and reshaping them as you go.

Before dealing with details of style and language (editing), be sure you have presented ideas that are clear and forceful.

Most of the students I studied did not use the terms revision or rewriting. In fact, they did not seem comfortable using the word revision and explained that revision was not a word they used, but the word their teachers used.

The students understand the revision process as a rewording activity.

They approach the revision process with what could be labeled as a “thesaurus philosophy of writing”; the students consider the thesaurus a harvest of lexical substitutions and believe that most problems in their essays can be solved by rewording.

The experienced writers describe their primary objective when revising as finding the form or shape of their argument.

I have learned from experience that I need to keep writing a first draft until I figure out what I want to say. Then in a second draft, I begin to see the structure of an argument and how all the various sub-arguments which are buried beneath the surface of all those sentences are related.

But these revision strategies are a process of more than communication; they are part of the process of discovering meaning altogether.

Sommersは、Boston UniversityとUniversity of Oklahomaの初学期の作文学生20人と、経験ある書き手20人（ジャーナリスト、編集者、研究者）を比べました。各自がエッセイを3本書き、各エッセイを2回書き直しました。論文はCCC 31.4 (1980): 378–388、DOI 10.2307/356588にあります。

When you are revising your papers, not every element of your work should have equal priority. The most important parts of your paper, often called "Higher Order Concerns (HOCs)," are the "big picture" elements such as thesis or focus, audience and purpose, organization, and development. After you have addressed these important elements, you can then turn your attention to the "Lower Order Concerns (LOCs)," such as sentence structure and grammar.

Keep in mind, however, that moving between HOCs and LOCs might be a natural process for you. Experienced writers may begin with HOCs and dip into the LOCs as they revise. Inexperienced writers may revise systematically through the HOCs and then the LOCs.

For example, if the first sentence of your introductory paragraph is riddled with punctuation and spelling errors, readers may not move far enough into your work to get to your thesis statement.

Start with the big picture. Don't get bogged down in editing details at the beginning; instead, focus on your content.

Revise in stages. Instead of trying to catch all problems at once, read through your paper multiple times, looking for different issues.

It's an old saying that all writing is rewriting.

Have you performed the kind of thinking the assignment sheet asked for (e.g., analyse, argue, compare, explore)

Have you written the genre of document called for (e.g., book review, critique, personal response, field notes, research report, lab report, essay)?

Have you used concepts and methods of reasoning discussed in the course?

Have you given adequate evidence for your argument or interpretation?

Does your introduction make clear where the rest of the paper is headed?

Would a person reading your conclusion know what question you had asked and how you had arrived at your answer?

Think honestly about your thesis: Do you still agree with it? Should it be modified in light of something you discovered as you wrote the paper? Does it make a sophisticated, provocative point, or does it just say what anyone could say if given the same topic?

Start out with a working thesis, and don’t act like you’re married to it. Instead, act like you’re dating it, seeing if you’re compatible, finding out what it’s like from day to day. If a better thesis comes along, let go of the old one.

Check that you have kept your promises to your readers: Does your paper follow through on what the thesis promises? Do you support all the claims in your thesis?

A “reverse” outline is one you make after you have written a draft. Your aim is to create an outline of what you’ve already written, as opposed to the kind of outline that you make before you begin to write.

Make sure you are creating an outline of what is actually in your paper, rather than what you intended to have in it or think should be in it!

If a regular outline is something you write before you draft out your paper, a reverse outline is something you do after you write a draft.

To evaluate the organization and logic of your draft, use a separate document to arrange your topic sentences in order by themselves. You should be able to read the list and still understand the argument without missing any important points.

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave ‘civilized’ society and go back to nature.

Paragraph 1: Intro. Thesis: “Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave ‘civilized’ society and go back to nature.”

Paragraph 2: Background on Huck Finn

Paragraph 3: River for Huck and Jim. Also shore for Jim.

Paragraph 4: Shore for Huck. Shore and laws for Jim.

Paragraph 5: Shore and family, school.

Paragraph 6: River and freedom, democracy.

Paragraph 7: River and shore similarities.

Paragraph 8: Conclusion.

Paragraph 1: Intro. Thesis: “Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave ‘civilized’ society and go back to nature.”

Paragraph 2: Define American democratic ideals and how they’re truly expressed

Paragraph 3: River and shore similarities

Paragraph 4: River for Huck and Jim (river=nature)

Paragraph 5: Shore for Huck and Jim (shore=civilization)

Paragraph 6: Shore, family, and school

Paragraph 7: River, freedom, and democracy

Paragraph 8: Conclusion.

• この考えは自分のテーゼとどう結びついているか。
• この考えは、前後の考えとどう結びついているか。
• 同じ語や句が、ここで複数の場所に現れているか。
• 友人に会話で説明するなら、この順序を使うか。
• テーゼが示す順序に従い、テーゼが扱うと約束したすべてを入れたか。
• 課題をチェックリストとして見ると、課題の問いすべてに答えたか。

The New Deal was actually a conservative defense of American capitalism.

Would you mind explaining that point about being both conservative and liberal again? I wasn’t sure I followed

What kind of economic principle is government relief? Is it communist? Archaic?

Voluntary euthanasia for terminally ill patients is justified on the grounds that it reflects humane values, respects individual autonomy, avoids needless costs, and reduces suffering.

Ideally, each paragraph should have just one central idea.

Fashions from the 1890s and 1990s have some unexpected things in common, including styling techniques, but they are very different in the materials and styles they employ.

Comparing the corsets, fascinators, and intricate lacework of the 1890s to the crop tops, gaudy jewelry, and colorful prints of the 1990s reveals that in spite of the Victorian era’s reputation for extreme modesty, American fashions from the 1890s are just as bold and visually startling as those from the 1990s.

Examine the balance within your paper: Are some parts out of proportion with others? Do you spend too much time on one trivial point and neglect a more important point? Do you give lots of detail early on and then let your points get thinner by the end?

Check the organization: Does your paper follow a pattern that makes sense? Do the transitions move your readers smoothly from one point to the next? Do the topic sentences of each paragraph appropriately introduce what that paragraph is about?

Look for places where you stumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness’s that need fixing. Look for places where you get distracted or even bored—where you cannot concentrate.

A sentence should be alive

UNC、冗長:

There are several examples of the issue of integrity in Huck Finn

UNC、改稿:

Huck Finn repeatedly addresses the issue of integrity.

UNC、冗長:

She argues for the importance of the idea

UNC、改稿:

She defends the idea.

Toronto、定型句:

due to the fact that (because)

Toronto、弱い:

A surprising aspect of most labour negotiations is their friendly quality.

Toronto、改善:

Most labour negotiations are surprisingly friendly.

Toronto、弱い:

The fact of the war had the effect of causing many changes.

Toronto、改善:

The war caused many changes.

Toronto、弱い:

The novel, which is entitled Ulysses, takes place . . .

Toronto、改善:

The novel Ulysses takes place . . .

Toronto、弱い:

It was Confucius who said . . .

Toronto、改善:

Confucius said . . .

Wait awhile after you’ve finished a draft before looking at it again. The Roman poet Horace thought one should wait nine years, but that’s a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will work.

Work from a printed copy; it’s easier on the eyes. Also, problems that seem invisible on the screen somehow tend to show up better on paper.

Another tip is to read the paper out loud. That’s one way to see how well things flow.

If you can let your original draft “cool down” a while, you will find it easy to recognize unnecessary words and edit them out.

My cardinal rule in revising is never to fall in love with what I have written in a first or second draft. An idea, sentence, or even a phrase that looks catchy, I don't trust. Part of this idea is to wait a while.

It may feel silly, but reading aloud can be a great tool for catching awkward transitions, grammatical errors, run-on sentences, repetition, and confusing language.

If you want to be a polished writer, then you will eventually find out that you can’t afford NOT to throw stuff away.

The idea or metaphor or paragraph that I think is most wonderful and brilliant is often the very thing that confuses my reader or ruins the tone of my piece or interrupts the flow of my argument.

I wrote six drafts of this handout. Hemingway rewrote the last page of A Farewell to Arms thirty-nine times.

Sommers、経験ある書き手:

It is always difficult to know at what point to abandon a piece of writing. I like this idea that a piece of writing is never finished, just abandoned.

Using “Track Changes” mode in Word or “Suggesting” mode in Google Docs, for example, allows you to make changes without committing to them.

Tools that allow you to compare multiple drafts give you the chance to visually track changes over time.

Don’t depend on a thesaurus. It will supply you with lists of words in the same general category as the one you have tried-but most of them won’t make sense.

Don’t depend on a grammar checker. The best ones still miss many errors, and they give a lot of bad advice.

The grammar checkers built into word processors (again under the Review menu, usually grouped with spellcheck and thesaurus) are seldom useful. About half of grammar-check flags are wrong, and the explanations are not clear.

Keep in mind, though, that the computer won’t tell you that you’ve mistyped form for from, much less that you’ve misused principle for principal.